When my first marriage fell apart, my kids were very young. My daughter was six and my son was just four years old. Trying to be fair to everyone concerned and do the right thing for my children made it a very painful time for me. Amongst other things, I began to realise that I would not be able to give my children the upbringing that I had wanted to provide. In many ways, things were out of control and it was all very stressful at the time.
However, somewhere along the way, I came to realise that I really had done my best and it was time to mentally let go of trying to exert influence over the situation. Yes, it was certainly true that my kids were going to get a different life than the one I had wanted for them, but it was not going to be a bad life. They were going to be properly provided for and there was absolutely no point in me continuing to worry about the situation any longer.
So what I decided to do was something that I have since repeated on other occasions, as and when necessary, because it turned out to be a very powerful technique for releasing mental anguish. It was not something I had read about. It was something I just decided to do. We were going to visit the seaside, something I always enjoy, and I decided that I was going to write in the sand, in very big letters, the thing I was worried about which, as you know, was the kids.
I had told myself in advance that as the waves came in and washed away the writing that I was also going to allow them to wash away all of the worry that was on my mind. I was determined to leave the associated mental anxiety right there, on the beach. So that's exactly what I did. I wrote in big letters, just those two words 'The Kids' and then sat there for a while, watching as the waves came in and washed away the letters taking with them all the stress I had been feeling.
The next day, the beach was perfectly clear and so too was my mind. It was completely free of the worry that had previously been present and I was never again troubled by such thoughts. The process had enabled me to completely come to terms with the situation. Years later, when I was going through a tough time in my job, I did the same thing again and it worked well for me. It enabled me to release the worry associated with that state of affairs too.
For this process to work for you, I believe you need to be ready to release the anxiety. You may think that there would be no reason that you would not be ready, but I think there may be deep psychological reasons that we sometimes wish to hold on to worry. Probably it is during the period when we are still actively seeking solutions or wondering about how best to react to the situation.
However, if you have come to the place where you are ready to stop worrying about something, I would commend this little exercise to you. Take yourself off to the beach. It is always a wonderful and inspiring place to be, especially in the early evening. Write about whatever is troubling you in the sand and tell yourself that you are going to let it go for good. Then watch for yourself as the waves work their little miracle.
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Will Edwards is Founder of http://www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/
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