How to Worry Successfully

They'll never admit it, but the world's most successful people do it! Yes, I'm talking about WORRYING. Although it's gotten a bum rap, worrying is actually a good thing. Worry causes us to look ahead and to anticipate potential obstacles. We are then in a position to function proactively, heading off possible problems, while steering toward opportunities for success.

The Problem
Many of us don't know how to control our ruminations. Instead, worry controls us. As a result, we worry, when doing so is unproductive -- even paralyzing. So how do we make this much-maligned "activity" work for us?

The Solution: Steps to Successful Worrying
Identify the problem. Determine what you are worrying about and write it down. Putting the issue on paper helps clarify it and allows you to look at it less emotionally.

Analyze it; but just once. Now that you have identified your concern, what can you do about it? You must first ask yourself how much control you have over the object of your worry. In each case, your concern will fall into one of the following categories:

Controllables -- These are worries over which you have direct control. In this case, you will get almost immediate relief by writing down the steps that you will take to address the concern and determining when you will take these action steps.

Givens -- These are dilemmas over which you have no control; therefore, they are the ones most likely to trigger intense worry. If the problem falls into this category, "schedule" a future time (within the next 12 hours) to worry, and then refuse to think about it any further in the present. Eventually you will see that you have control over when or if you worry, and you'll probably choose to do something more productive or enjoyable with your time!

Negotiables -- These are concerns over which you have limited control. Come up with an action plan for aspects of the concern you can influence. Then handle what is uncontrollable in the same manner you deal with "givens."

Now don't think about it! After you have determined whether your issue is a controllable, a given or a negotiable, and after you have taken steps as indicated above, the trick is to not rethink your problem. From here forward, worrying is no longer productive, and engaging in obsessive thinking about the issue will only turn into destructive or "unsuccessful" worrying.

Now I know what you seasoned worriers are saying to yourselves right about now: "Oh sure, just stop thinking about it -- easy for her to say." Truth is, there are ways to avoid revisiting the problem, and here they are:

Take a break from your problem -- Do something you love. It's hard to worry when you are absorbed in an activity you enjoy.

Have a good laugh about anything -- It is especially helpful if you can find humor in the situation that has been troubling you.

Be with others -- Do not isolate yourself. Spending too much time alone is an invitation to re-engage in destructive worry. Being with others helps keep things in a healthy perspective.

Help someone else -- Doing this takes your focus off you, and reminds you that everyone wrestles with concerns.

Have faith -- Remember that you have resolved previous problems that may have seemed insurmountable at the time. It also helps to turn to a higher power to re-establish a sense of inner peace.

Ask for reassurance -- Look to those you trust for support, and most importantly, for hugs! Physical touch is a great curative, especially in times of uncertainty.

Making these tools work for you will take some practice. But as you begin to take control, you will see that being a worrier may be one of your greatest strengths!
Useful materials about anxiety

Original article

How to Deal With Anxiety and Worry

What good is life without living? That is what anxiety and worry does to you. It stops you from living a fulfilled life. You keep wondering about things that you have no control over. What good will it do to worry about such things? It will only bring you sadness and cause you to be stressful and depressed. Then what? You get tired of life and you just give up or even end your own life. Is it worth it in the end? There are things that we can control in life and there are things that we just simply cannot control and we should not worry about these things.

Matthew 6:31-34 Therefore, do not worry, saying what shall we eat? Or what shall we drink? Or what shall we wear? For after all these things the gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

The bible tells us not to worry. God is our provider and He can give you all that you need. The earth and everything in it is His. If you will only give Him your life and let Him guide you then He will be more than happy to be your Father and He will provide for all your needs and you will not have to worry anymore.

Martha and Mary were sisters of Lazarus, the same who was brought back to life by Jesus after being dead and buried four days. They were having a feast to celebrate Lazarus' resurrection and Martha was helping the servants to serve the guests and was directing the feast from the kitchen. Mary was sitting at Jesus' feet at that time and so Martha became angry with her. She felt as if she had been left to do everything alone. So she came to Jesus and asked Him to tell Mary to come and help her in the kitchen. But listen to what Jesus said to her,

Luke 10:41 - "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her."

First of all, He told Martha that she was worried and troubled about many things. This is true for us also today. We are always worried and troubled about many things in life; especially now with all the recession going on around the world and people losing their jobs. Some do not know how to handle all their worries and anxieties so they commit suicide, others begin a life of alcohol and drugs to try and drown their sorrows and fears. This world will always bring you anxiety and worries. Jesus says, do not worry about anything. There is no point in us worrying ourselves to death with the things that we cannot control. That is what He was telling Martha.

Secondly, He said to her that Mary had chosen the good thing and it will not be taken away from her. What is the good thing? It is the presence and love of Christ in our lives. You receive the good thing when you invite Jesus into your heart. You become His child from that day on and no one will be able to take that away from you. Nobody will snatch you out of the hand of God. He will provide for you and you will not lack anything. You will want to stay at Jesus' feet like Mary, for you will have found the good thing, which is the only thing that is needed. You will have your very own eureka moment.

Jesus can give you peace of mind. Worry not about the things you cannot change or have, be content with what you have and change what you can and leave the rest to God. He will be the one to supply all your needs. You simply remain in Him and trust in Him and walk according to His statutes and He will open the floodgates of heaven and bless you abundantly.

Philippians 4:19 - And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Jesus wants to give you the best of the best in everything. Have you ever seen how royalty dress up and what they eat? Do you think that you will see a royal person begging for anything? Do you think they ever worry about what to eat or drink or what to wear? Of course they don't. So why do you have to worry then? You are the child of the King so that makes you royalty also. Your father owns everything. All you have to do is come to Him and ask. He will not give you a stone when you ask for bread and He will certainly not give you a snake when you ask for fish.

Matthew 7:9-11 -What man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

If you ask God for the good thing He will certainly give it you. That is exactly what Mary was asking for and she got it. Martha did not get it because she did not ask so she was worried and troubled. She was weary and heavy laden and she was carrying all her burdens alone instead of giving it all to Jesus. If she had, she would have found rest for her soul just as Mary found it.

Matthew 11:28-30 -Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

Do not let the world and its worries drag you down with it, beloved. Do not be like Martha. Take up the yoke of Jesus and learn from Him. Cast all your cares and worries upon Him. Be like Mary. Let Him take care of your needs and wants. Do not stress yourself out with anxieties and worries. Jesus is waiting for you to give it all to Him. He can carry it, you can't. Surrender all to Him and let Him set you free from your burdens.

C.L is an aspiring author who writes inspirational books directing towards women's issues. C.L.'s books will inspire you and give you spiritual tips to overcome your problems. For more information about C.L. Leon and her writings visit http://www.clleon.com/

Original article

Stress, Worry, Anxiety and a Cure

When my first marriage fell apart, my kids were very young. My daughter was six and my son was just four years old. Trying to be fair to everyone concerned and do the right thing for my children made it a very painful time for me. Amongst other things, I began to realise that I would not be able to give my children the upbringing that I had wanted to provide. In many ways, things were out of control and it was all very stressful at the time.

However, somewhere along the way, I came to realise that I really had done my best and it was time to mentally let go of trying to exert influence over the situation. Yes, it was certainly true that my kids were going to get a different life than the one I had wanted for them, but it was not going to be a bad life. They were going to be properly provided for and there was absolutely no point in me continuing to worry about the situation any longer.

So what I decided to do was something that I have since repeated on other occasions, as and when necessary, because it turned out to be a very powerful technique for releasing mental anguish. It was not something I had read about. It was something I just decided to do. We were going to visit the seaside, something I always enjoy, and I decided that I was going to write in the sand, in very big letters, the thing I was worried about which, as you know, was the kids.

I had told myself in advance that as the waves came in and washed away the writing that I was also going to allow them to wash away all of the worry that was on my mind. I was determined to leave the associated mental anxiety right there, on the beach. So that's exactly what I did. I wrote in big letters, just those two words 'The Kids' and then sat there for a while, watching as the waves came in and washed away the letters taking with them all the stress I had been feeling.

The next day, the beach was perfectly clear and so too was my mind. It was completely free of the worry that had previously been present and I was never again troubled by such thoughts. The process had enabled me to completely come to terms with the situation. Years later, when I was going through a tough time in my job, I did the same thing again and it worked well for me. It enabled me to release the worry associated with that state of affairs too.

For this process to work for you, I believe you need to be ready to release the anxiety. You may think that there would be no reason that you would not be ready, but I think there may be deep psychological reasons that we sometimes wish to hold on to worry. Probably it is during the period when we are still actively seeking solutions or wondering about how best to react to the situation.

However, if you have come to the place where you are ready to stop worrying about something, I would commend this little exercise to you. Take yourself off to the beach. It is always a wonderful and inspiring place to be, especially in the early evening. Write about whatever is troubling you in the sand and tell yourself that you are going to let it go for good. Then watch for yourself as the waves work their little miracle.

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Will Edwards is Founder of http://www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/

Original article