So you've always been a little bit clingier than other kids. It wasn't as big a deal when you were a little kid. People just thought that you were a little bit on the shy side.
But now that you're a grown up, you're tired of being called a clinging vine and being told that you're too smothering. You've heard it from your boyfriends, your family and even your roommate in college. "Stop cramping my style," they all seem to say.
Well, what you may actually have is called separation anxiety disorder. Here's what you need to know:
Separation Anxiety Disorder Defined
Separation anxiety disorder is a mental condition that causes the sufferer to experience intense discomfort when s/he has to separate from a loved one. The sufferer will typically try to avoid any sort of separation between themselves and their loved ones and as the disease takes hold will find themselves worrying constantly and disproportionately about the safety or well being of the removed loved one.
Separation Anxiety Disorder: A Disease of Childhood
As you probably already know separation anxiety disorder is most common in very young kids. In children this condition is usually observed when children are first placed in school or daycare. The child will have a particularly difficult time separating from the parent for the day.
Although most children feel the pang of abandonment on the first day of school, most kids don't feel the exact same intensity of loss day after day and week after week. Whereas most kids adjust to being in their new environment, the child that suffers from separation anxiety disorder will continue to have the same fits and meltdowns long after the other children have come to see their transitions from their homes as a natural and predictable part of life.
The Adopted or Abandoned Child
Adopted children are much more likely to suffer from separation anxiety disorder. This should not be surprising. The experience of being left at the day care or school mimics the moment of abandonment at the orphanage. For the adopted child the experience opens up wounds so old that they may not even clearly remember them.
Planning for the Separation Anxiety Child
If you believe your child may be prone to separation anxiety disorder, you will want to give a heads up to the institution that you will be delivering your child to and allot yourself extra time in the early days so that you can help your child ease into his or her new surroundings as much as possible. Although many parents and mental health professionals advocate the quick goodbye method of transition for the children suffering from this condition, many others have found that withdrawing for small periods at a time and slowly working up to a whole day is a much more harmonious way of dealing with the transition to school and daycare.
This is, of course, not feasible for all parents.
Adult Separation Anxiety Disorder
Although much rarer than the same condition in kids, many adults also suffer with separation anxiety disorder. You find you have great difficulty being alone or being separated from your closest loved ones. When your loved ones leave your sight, even if they are just going about their regular routine or going to the store, you become very anxious. You fear for their lives when they are not near or immediately start to worry that something terrible will happen to them the second you hear that they are going on a trip or just over to a friend's house. These are examples you are likely to be suffering from adult separation anxiety disorder.
Until fifteen years ago, this was not even recognized as an individual psychiatric condition. But now several mental health professionals have started to consider new and exciting treatments for this condition.
Regardless of whether social anxiety disorder affects you or your kids, you should research it and consider how best to go about treating it. The best weapon against anxiety disorders is knowledge. You've taken a good first step, now keep on going.
Tom Tait is focused on helping those with panic attacks. Here is more information on Chronic Anxiety Disorder. There is even more information about Panic Attacks on the website Panic Attacks.
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