In my work as a counselor there is no shortage of opportunities for expanding my understanding of all the different disorders that people have. Bipolar, depression, anxiety, paranoia, ADHD, learning issues, obsessive-compulsive; the list is long and seems to be getting longer.
I prefer to refer to them as 'dis-ordered states'. Rather than defining a person's inherent orientation towards life, many of these dis-ordered states occur for very specific reasons, and when we are willing to consider a variety of different possible explanations, a deeper understanding will often emerge paving the way for change.
It is important to consider the word 'disorder'.
Essentially, it describes something that is lacking order. The word tells us nothing of whether the system or environment it is describing is meant to be that way forever and is unchangeable; it simply describes an existing 'state'.
Generally, a disordered state and an ordered state contain all the same elements, all the same raw material in more or less degrees, but one is ordered and the other is lacking order. It is this lack of order that enables a host of possible issues to develop.
The question we must ask is:
What combination of factors were present at just the right time in just the right amount to give rise to an existing condition or state?
This question is only relevant if we are interested in returning the dis-ordered state to a state of order. Many economic interests and competing industries are not interested in asking or exploring these deeper questions because their continued existence rests upon people not asking deeper questions.
Because I am not from any one particular school of thought, nor am I governed nor encouraged by any particular board or body, I have the time and freedom to research several different fields of study. This enables me to often make connections that others, who are expected to conform to the mandate of their respective associations, do not see.
An overwhelming number of cases I see are consistent in one area: anxiety. I have seen clients whose memory problems improved when they gained the skills for managing anxiety. I have seen learning dis-orders lift when people ease the stress they are under, finding a renewed sense of confidence in themselves and their abilities. And I have seen severe lack of confidence and depression shift, taking someone from such an elevated state of anxiety that they couldn't make even a single phone call, to 12 months later being asked to serve on the board of a non-profit organization.
Indeed, radical change is possible when we are given what we need.
In my experience and research, stress and anxiety seem to provide a fertile breeding ground for many issues and the states of dis-order that follow. When young children are anxious and stressed, it affects their development in all areas; physical, mental, emotional, and social (spiritual too).
If this stress and anxiety is prolonged, ailments and disorders can start manifesting in seemingly unrelated ways.
When the bodymind (there is no separation between the body and mind - it is all one system) is forced to contend with unrelenting stress, it goes into protection mode. According to biologist Dr. Bruce Lipton, we essentially have two orientations toward our environment; contraction (protection) and expansion (growth). Fear, stress, and threats from our environment naturally engage our fight or flight response.
The tricky part of this equation is that as kids we are great at adapting - it is what our bodies and minds are designed to do - but at this tender age we are not always versed at knowing how to communicate our needs.
Childhood trauma can be subtle. The word trauma itself evokes associations of severity and significance. But to a sensitive and fragile young person who is in that critical developmental stage from age 0-5, trauma inflicted upon the system can often go unnoticed.
At a minimum, we assume that physical issues have a physical basis, and when no causal relationship can be found, we assume that's just the way things are meant to be.
But the different parts of us don't evolve and develop inside a vacuum. Emotional pain, fear, stress, anxiety, mis-understandings, nutritional habits, love - all of these and more directly influence how we develop. Even the emotional health of the mother during pregnancy has a direct influence on the developing fetus.
If a mother is perpetually stressed, this stress is impacting, for better or worse (in this case, worse), the developing fetus.
There is a phrase used among counselors and therapists that defines a sort of roadmap for working with clients; 'follow the anxiety'. Because anxiety for many people exists as a generalized state (there is that word again) of unease that seemingly arrives from nowhere and departs just the same (or stays for long periods), it can be tricky to peg and treat.
For this reason, medication is often prescribed to address this acute period, and the client or patient is sent along their way.
But contained within that anxious state are factors that are creating and re-inforcing that same anxious state. By 'following the anxiety' we (counselors, parents, anyone) can begin to build a larger understanding of what someone is feeling and experiencing, and from there, what begins to emerge is often a collection of significant experiences that emotionally and psychically has put a client's biological system on overdrive. Bio-chemistry becomes imbalanced, and the electrical impulses that govern our body processes become altered.
It matters not what came first, the chicken or the egg. They are both part of the same system, in relationship to each other, and the presenting information is useful regardless of its directional flow.
At a behavioural-social level, confidence and self-concept become altered, which then impacts ones perception of their capabilities and what the believe they can achieve.
To continue addressing this from the angle of 'this is just who they are', without seeking a deeper interest in the conditions that gave rise to their current manifested state, the person continues to more firmly believe in their limitations. They stop believing certain things (or never begin believing and perceiving certain ideas), which begins to close the door on what is possible; emotionally, physically, spiritually, physiologically, psychologically and socially.
While it may take some time and hard work to identify and 'get to the bottom' of a condition or state of dis-order, does this mean we should stop trying?
If we don't have all the pieces of the puzzle today, should that compel us to conclude 'this is just the way I am'?
The same capacity for healing and recovery exists in each and every human being. Some may have to work a little (or a lot) harder at it, but there can be a light at the end of the tunnel for everyone.
There is not some invisible force out there that is picking and choosing who gets to feel better and who doesn't, who gets to find the answers they need and who doesn't, or who gets to heal and bring closure to the past and who doesn't.
The reality of the 'healed state' (vs. the dis-ordered state) will begin to exist for you if you first begin to believe that it can exist for you. This is the essential starting point. The reality of 'releasing yourself from the pain of the past' can and will exist for you if you first begin to conceive that you are worth it, and that you, like others who have walked a similar path, deserve to heal and grow.
Otherwise, a psychological barrier will continue to prevent not only your body but your environment from providing the answers you are seeking. If you don't choose to relax the rigid beliefs you may be carrying about your own personal worth, the mix of solutions you require could show up at your door in a neat package but your mental constructs will not enable you to recognize the Truth of the situation.
Somehow, by choosing one of its many tricks, the mind will turn you away from the answer because it won't allow itself (you) to believe is deserves the gift.
Regardless of what you have or haven't been through, irrespective of the pain you are or are not carrying, no matter what type of family you grew up in or how much money you had or didn't have growing up, the space for healing will begin to be created after you first choose to believe it is possible.
You must decide you are worth it. This is not to disregard your pain or personal situation, because they are vital pieces of the puzzle, but the answer is the same whether we are in yesterday, today, or tomorrow. You must make a choice. Or not.
The choice is eternally yours.
Go deeper my friends; it's where the good stuff is.
Tim
Timothy Gauthier
Author, Speaker, Coach
Reconstructing Timothy - A True Story about Fear, Hope and the Power of God's Love
Release Date: January 15, 2012
SMARTLife Wellness Co.
http://www.smartlife-solutions.com/
tdg_company@hotmail.com
Original article